Several years ago, I read Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis. I enjoyed it so much that I quickly read all her non-fiction books and even sent Girl, Wash Your Face to my sisters.
Since then, Rachel Hollis has faced backlash over her divorce, controversial remarks, and allegations of plagiarism. Still, I believe she offers valuable insight. I recently learned she has a podcast. I haven’t listened yet, but I plan to check it out. https://msrachelhollis.com/
One exercise from her books that I started back in 2020 is the 10-10-1 formula, which helps guide you to achieving your vision for the future and make choices that align with it.
What Is the 10-10-1 Formula?
The idea is simple, but powerful:
- Who and where do you want to be in 10 years?
- What are 10 dreams you have for that future version of yourself?
- What is 1 goal you can focus on right now to get closer to that version of yourself?
To me, the formula takes the emotion out of decision-making. If you stick to the plan, the path forward becomes clearer — even when life throws curveballs.
The Plan I Forgot (And Then Remembered)
I first completed the 10-10-1 exercise on February 2, 2020. I wrote out my 10-year vision and my 10 dreams — but never got around to identifying the “1 goal.” Then, the world changed.
COVID hit.
Suddenly, we were homeschooling, quarantining, trying to figure out masks, and navigating a thousand unknowns. Long-term planning was out the window.
Then, just as things began to settle down, we had a house fire.
Needless to say, I haven’t thought about that list or the 10-10-1 formula since 2020.
But now, as I wrap up my Summer Sabbatical in 2025, I find myself at a new crossroads. I have a few big decisions to make — decisions that brought the 10-10-1 plan back to mind.
So I pulled out my old Al-Anon notebook… and there it was.
Valerie’s 2020 10-10-1 Plan
🧭 10-Year Vision
- Healthy and fit
- Ray and I both retired
- Financially secure enough to maintain my current lifestyle
🌟 10 Dreams
- Start (or grow) my own business or project-based work I enjoy
- Be exceptionally healthy — strong, mobile, energetic
- Cultivate a happy, connected, and admired marriage
- Rebuild meaningful connections with my sisters and make new friends
- Travel for fun and bonding
- Live in a home that energizes and supports my lifestyle
- Watch Alyssa thrive in her own life
- Feel financially free and secure — options without stress
- Return to blogging or writing to rediscover my voice
- Having Iyan in the right school and environment for his success
The Surprising Part
Despite everything — the pandemic, the fire, life’s detours — I haven’t strayed far from my original vision. I’ve been slowly making progress and I didn’t even realize it until I looked back.
The good news – I’m already five years in. Only five more to go!
Now, I’m facing decisions that connect directly to the original list. Funny how that works.
The Big Decisions in Front of Me
1️⃣ Iyan’s School
We’ve narrowed it down to two options: the school he currently attends or a small charter school. Both have pros and cons.
Honestly? If it were only up to me, we’d try the charter school. But I have to consider how Iyan feels — and he’s less eager to switch. I still have a couple of weeks to decide, but it’s weighing on me.
2️⃣ Sell or Keep the House
This question has haunted us for years. This is not an exaggeration! Literally, years!
My husband wants to live in the country. I prefer the suburbs — close to people, places, and things. Neither of us is likely to change our minds.
We’re currently maintaining two homes: our old house and the “barndo” on our property. Financially, it would make sense to sell the house and reinvest the money — especially since neither of us wants to go into debt building a new home. With that said, I don’t want to live in the “barndo” forever. I miss having a house, or maybe it is living in a neighborhood I miss. It is all so tangled together.
But emotionally? It’s complicated. This could drag on… or I could finally make a call. Either way, I know we can’t live like this forever.
3️⃣ Going Back to Work
Surprisingly, this one causes me the least stress.
I assume I’ll return to work for a few more years. But this sabbatical has been wonderful. I’ve enjoyed the time off far more than I expected.
If money were no object, I’d take more time. But there are things I want to do — and buy — that require income. 😄
Looking Ahead (Again)
Decisions #1 and #3 will need to be made within the next few weeks.
Decision #2… well, that could linger for years. Or until I die — at which point the house will probably hit the market faster than you can say “barndo.”
But here’s what I know now:
Revisiting the 10-10-1 plan reminded me of the future I still want.
It’s not just about goal-setting — it’s about realigning with the version of myself I dreamed about in 2020. She still feels true. She still feels possible.
And maybe, just maybe, she’s a little closer than I thought.
Your Turn:
Have you ever made a long-term plan, forgotten about it, and realized later you were living it out anyway? Or are you at a crossroads of your own? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Feathers and Phases 
It’s always important to keep an eye on where you want to go. You are consistent and even without reminding yourself, you knew where you want to be. Sometimes we automatically know the “right” direction to head.
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